Building back out from self-doubt

Jonathon Snook has been sharing a few thoughts on imposter syndrome and what he’s doing to overcome it.

It seems that every once in a while I go through this same phase of self-doubt, but it’s never been as bad as it was a couple of months ago. Giving up on freelancing and returning to a full-time job required a series of significant changes that added to this phase.

I was no longer working for myself. I would be working for an employer and therefore also working with and for other people. When you’re freelancing, there’s an element of being a lone wolf. It’s not entirely isolating, but you don’t need to worry so much about other people. You deliver what the client wants. Working for an employer is different. You have to align yourself with the companies goals and those that you are working with.

Working from home for some years means that I was fortunate enough to find my own routine that worked for me. From the comfort of my house, I could play the music I wanted, take breaks when I wanted, plan my day how I wanted. Working for an employer means being in the office at certain times, aligning your work day with others, making yourself available when others require your time.

Adding to these were some routine changes at home and facing the possibility of a frequent commute. The whole experience led me to question whether I could do the job I was applying for. Not only that, but I was examining the worth of some side-projects I was working on as well as a career change that I am considering for the future. It’s was similar to Jonathon’s stage where at the point of execution, you freeze up.

Every time I get to the point of execution on anything, I start to freeze up. I hit a wall every time I want to put myself out there.

Uneasy by Jonathon Snook

After a few months in full-time work, however, I’m starting to find that I can do the job although given it’s a new role, there are a few weeks of finding your feet.

Not only that, but I’m also reading more, writing more, coding more outside of work. I’m doing these things as they help me build myself back up out of a period of self-doubt. I’m now at the point where I am finding myself enjoying side-projects and returning to a stage where I can see myself executing again.